Exciting Psychonauts news: We are having a garage sale!!!
The place we are moving to is furnished, so we are selling off our chairs and desks and lamps and stuff. There’s enough here that you could probably come early and buy most of the necessary pieces to start your own game company! Especially if you know a lot about cloning, because there are many chunks of skin and hair slammed into the file cabinets and burned onto the lamps we are selling. Should be able to get some good programmer DNA off of that stuff at least.
This Sunday, June 29
215 Clara Street
10:00 am until 2:00pm
These desks are full of history, and so many of our employees tears. Won’t you give them a home?
Okay this is your last reminder about the party, because we’re about to take our server and phones down for the big office move. Don’t be offended if we ignore your email for a few days okay?
The only way to get in touch with double fine for a while will be through the dogs-barking-in-backyards network, like in the old 101 Dalmatians movie. So I hope you speak dog.
Oh, unless you come to the party and slow dance with us and get us to write our home phone numbers on your hand with an eyebrow pencil.
Don’t forget: the Dream Date with Double Fine party is tomorrow, and you’re coming.
The party is so soon, we are ALREADY out of ice…
Double Fine is moving offices! We are giving up the rats, giving up the smell of bum pee. We are moving on to the land of eternally working toilets! Hooo-ray.
But you know, the one thing this old warehouse was always fun for was throwing killer parties. This is our last chance, so we’re inviting everyone! Come on down Friday night to 215 Clara Street in fabulous San Francisco. We’re near 5th street, between Folsom and Harrison. Kind of close to the All Star Donuts. Around the corner from the Olympic Deli’s burned-up awning. Near where that junkie is passed out, just past that pile of used syringes. That’s the place! Party!
8:00pm until whenever.
I’m already kinda drunk. Will you slow dance with me? Come on, this is our song.
Okay, whoops. I was wrong. Lorne Lanning is on TV. I often get the two of us confused because we like, practically, twins. You can see the Halo guys, too. Oh, and the Crimson Skies team. My face does flash on the screen for a second—just long enough for me to say that games invented surrealism. (God, when will I remember the golden rule of interviews: Shut up and don’t say a word!) Psychonauts does appear for a moment, and right when it’s on screen, Ed Fries says something that I won’t quote because it’s not the words that matter, but the meaning of the words. And if you listen to what he says the meaning is obvious: Ed thinks that Double Fine Productions is THEE GREATEST GAME COMPANY EVER OF ALL TIME EVER. And after that part, he adds that he loves us, and has a crush on many of us, and wishes we all hung out more, and that if we’re not doing anything this weekend, he’d like to see the Hulk with all of us, and then maybe play Pictionary after and have root beer floats. What makes this last part so effective is that he says it entirely WITH HIS EYES.
Hey, look! It’s…
If you catch the scene where Doctor Loboto takes out Dogen Boole’s pesky brain—the actor who plays Dr. Loboto is Nick Jameson, who also did the voices of Fred, Red, and Zed Edison in Day of the Tentacle, he played Darrel and Mavis (the projectionist) in Full Throttle, and in Sam and Max? d00d, he’s Max. And that’s…
We’re on TV! Right now!
Or so I hear.
They’re showing it again at 11:00.
If I remember correctly, I was a moron in the interview.
And there will be PLENTY of opportunity to see that in the future. Trust me.
Here’s some news: The rats have won. We’re moving. But our new place is better, and we gave a fake forwarding address to the rats, so we won’t be seeing them any more!
At least that’s what I think it says in this article. I’m pretty good at Norway talk, and from what I can tell, the people of Norway, so touched by the favorable and constant coverage they receive from the Double Fine Action News, have made me, and my associate producer Camilla, the new King and Queen of Norway. I would like to say that this comes as a total shock to me, but… come on you guys! I’m an adorably humble man, but didn’t we all see this coming?
I’ll probably be moving to that tiny island nation as soon as they send a boat for me. Once there, I shall take my rightful throne, hopefully without needless bloodshed. Please forward all my mail to my new address:
KING OF NORWAY
Norway City, Norway 94107
We can’t figure out why, but we think the change is permanent.
Okay, check out the Portal To Satisfaction™ to see all the hot, new jobs available at Double Fine Productions. There are so many there, you should apply to at least two or three of them. And have I mentioned this: You should tell ALL your friends? Spread the word. Why would you deny your friends a great job? Is it spite? Just let them live, will you? Let them be happy, for God’s sake! How long have you stood in the way of them getting what they want out of life? If it matters so much to you that your friends be miserable, then trust me—send them my way. I will make them miserable in a way you never could.
We have filled our office manager position! Yay for Kelli, the new office manager! If you wanted to be our office manager, I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to wait until we open our Fiji offices. Or maybe you could get the visual effects programmer job, and work your way over to the office manager position in a couple of years by sabotaging Kelli’s efforts, while constantly flattering the vain CEO.
That’s right—we still have the Visual Effects position open. Tell your friends! And as soon as I get my act together, I’m going to post some more jobs. These are paid positions, and we will be paying you with MONEY: Environment Artist/Designer!
Game Play Programmer!
Yeah, so get ready for that.