Vernon is Your Friend

Vernon Tripe

Vernon's Friends:  (7)
Blotton Tusk


 Member Since May 2003 Last Login 06/17/2003 
Full Name: Vernon Tripe
Gender: Male
Interested in
Meeting People for:
Friends, Activity Partners
Status: In a Relationship (but it's a secret!)
Age: 10
Psychadet rank: Tender Brain
Hometown: Cincinnati, OH
Psychic Speciality: Self-defense
Interests: Storytelling
Favorite TV Shows: Charlie Rose; Biography
Favorite Movies: The Never-ending Story
About Me: Long story short-- wait, that's impossible! There's too much I want to tell you about me!

I come from an ancient calling--the Storytellers

Long before we had TVs and cable and basic cable and basic expanded cable and basic digital cable and satellite dishes and tivo... we had storytellers. When ancient man sat around the campfire of prehistory, chewing on woolly mammoth drumsticks, do you think he was watching TV? WRONG! They just had one member of the tribe who was really good at telling stories. Maybe his name was something like... Thogg.

Maybe Thogg's stories were simple, or even primitive. Maybe he'd just grunt and pound his chest, and point at the moon or the campfire, and howl. But the people loved him! They were thankful for Thogg's stories because Thogg distracted them from the brutal facts of their existence. Like the fact that a saber-toothed tiger might be crawling out of the tar to come eat them at that very moment. They knew that many of the tribe would die that year in dinosaur attacks, or spear fights, and they didn't want to think about that. They wanted to think about the funny stories that Thogg would tell about the fire and the moon. Oh, how they loved his stories. And that's why Thogg was the most popular member of the tribe. 

Thogg passed his gift on. Maybe to his son named Gothar. And then maybe Gothar taught it to his son Narack. And then Narack taught it to his son Ka'ak. And then Ka'ak--hey, maybe he had a daughter named... Mitzie. And on and on all the way down to me. 

Now, entertaining the children of Whispering Rock Psychic Summer camp is my sacred duty, to keep the children's minds off their rigorous training, and the fact that someday they will most likely die in the service of the Psychonauts, assuming they don't get their brains eaten this summer by the Hideous Hulking Lungfish. (I believe you Elton!)

Shout out to my secret girlfriend!  Oh, and when can we start telling people?

UPDATE: Hey, come on guys! Don't you want to be the first person to write me a testimonial?

UPDATE 2: Still no testimonials? Maybe something's wrong with the server. Man when are they going to add more servers to this damn thing?

Who I Want to Meet: Come to think of it, I'd like to meet that Thogg guy. Maybe I could teach him a thing or two! ;)

What people say about Vernon:
No testimonials yet. You can add the first!