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Okay, I was wrong. There isn’t a crab living in my chest. What do I know? I’m no doctor.
Crabs are too pinchy. What I’ve got is really more like a small, grey octopus. But not a healthy one. This is kind of like a half-decomposed, zombie ghost of an octopus, with little gray bits of soft tissue peeling off of it as if it were still underwater. And it thinks my lungs are its long-lost brothers, and so it’s giving them a big hug and a squeeze. I kind of wish it were a crab, because at least crabs are delicious. But this stupid grey ghost octopus is nothing but gross. I really can’t wait to cough it up.
Sorry, was that too crude of a visual? I meant, I can’t wait to open my mouth, unfold my tongue like a long, red-carpeted stairway, and have the octopus tap dance it’s way out of my body with it’s little top hat and four little canes.
02/21/2008 at 11:49 AM
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| Posted by Xbob42 on 02/21 at 01:58 PM This was the greatest thing I’ve ever read.
If it had four little canes though, would it also have tap dancing SHOES?
How would you fit tap dancing shoes onto an octopus ghost?
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| Posted by Evitron on 02/21 at 03:48 PM That would make for a great party trick.
“Hey, I’ve got a tap-dancing octopus in my chest, wanna see?”
(BUST OUT THE OCTOPUS.)
“Wow, that was awesome. We should have a beer together and I should give you money.”
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| Posted by Sam Pagan on 02/21 at 05:48 PM If this is just a way of you saying that you’re horribly sick, well then, by all means tap dance away, and I hope you get well soon.
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| Posted by Sobtanian on 02/21 at 05:49 PM Hello, long time lurker, first time poster 
And LOL so much at your description, it really made my day/night (am going through a very rough time currently, but this still made me laugh out loud!!)
Get well soon! With nice healthy lungs all intact hopefully!!
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| Posted by Shadoe 28 on 02/21 at 07:22 PM Oh...Oh my gosh, that was possibly the best visual I’ve ever had placed into my brain by words. It’s got nearly everything I love about anything: Cephlapods, tap dancing, TOP HAT, zombie octopus, red carpet stair tongue....It’s like you KNOW me.
But I do hope the octopus tap dances his way out soon. We can’t have you suffering his little reunion with your lungs/his brothers. Reunions are so awkward…
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| Posted by Tikara on 02/21 at 08:46 PM Great Tim, now you made my post in the Dandy Doodle Den pointless if it’s not a crab D:<
.... this mean I have to do an Octopus version of that doodle?
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| Posted by Mithras on 02/22 at 07:45 AM Maybe this is some sort of game idea welling up inside Tim’s subconscious, so brilliant that his brain could not take the brunt of its revelation, so his lungs are being forced to dissipate its power before it hits his conscious mind!
Maybe the game is a tap dancing rhythm game where you play a decaying grey ghost octopus!
...You know, looking back at that, I actually wouldn’t be surprised if this was Double Fine’s next game.
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| Posted by Mr Bun on 02/22 at 10:23 AM Wow are you really sick and having hallucinations or is this what it is like inside your head all the time? It must be friggin’ awesome!
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| Posted by Ofiler on 02/22 at 12:03 PM Yup, Star Control 2-alites
It could be a member of the Ur Quan, the Kzer Za or even the Spathi… I vote Spathi, ‘cause they’re funnier.
So, you’ve got a little Spathi hiding in your lungs. All you need to do to coax him out is trick him into thinking it’s safer *outside* than *inside*.
You need to start talking (loudly) about something scary. Maybe make up a story about a ‘Lung Monster’ or, better yet, a mutant, monster ‘Lung Fish’… named ‘Linda’. Some people will believe anything!
The Spathi have a great imagination, so that little guy will run out of there faster than he can knit a turtle-neck sweater!
If you follow those basic steps, you’ll be ok. Too late for the GDC, but ok nonetheless.
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| Posted by Razputin on 02/22 at 03:58 PM I think that Brutal Legend is tearing Tim apart from the inside, because it wants to get cought up and infect us all with informatin about itself!
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| Posted by masquerade on 02/24 at 04:43 PM I certainly hope you do not have any of the OLD fillings, Tim. Otherwise those tap dancing shoes are going to cause you some grief when that Octopus is all out of hugs.
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| Posted by Apple Pop on 02/24 at 07:30 PM I once had a similar octopus in my lungs too. I had to take it out with a plastic Dairy Queen spoon. It did not like the spoon.
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© 2008 Double Fine Productions, Inc.
