--- title: "QUIT YOUR STINKING, DUMB-ASS JOB already!" date: 2004-06-18T10:44:00-07:00 author: Tim Schafer canonical_url: "https://www.doublefine.com/news/quit-your-stinking-dumb-ass-job-already" section: News --- # QUIT YOUR STINKING, DUMB-ASS JOB already! June 18th 2004 And come work here! Nobody at your current job likes you anyway. And—you didn’t hear it from me—but I heard that they’re going to fire you as soon as you finish that thing you’re working on. I’m not kidding. Get the upper hand and quit now! And then check our [jobs page](https://www.doublefine.com/jobs "Jobs page") for new jobs! We’re looking for a **system programmer** and a **producer**. (No, Caroline did not leave. She is just building an army of *SUPERPRODUCERS* to take over the world, and she wants you. Trust me, when the war comes, you don’t want to be on the other side.) And we’re just hiring another programmer because someone said our company was too good-looking, so we thought we’d take that down a notch. HA HA. By hiring a programmer! Ha! Because they’re ugly! Get it? P.S. I would like to personally apologize to all of my programmers for that last comment. I am of course kidding, because you are all so very foxy, and I am deeply, deeply attracted to each and every one of you. P.P.S. Okay, supposedly I shouldn’t have said that last comment either, because APPARENTLY it could be misconstrued to be sexualized harassment. Even though everything I do is—because of who I am—*highly* sexualized, this is not. It’s all in fun, right? Right? I am not attracted to you, of course. But, I mean, I’m sure someone is. What I meant was, even though you *are* attractive, *I* have not *myself* noticed. I have only heard that you were attractive second-hand. And the person who told me you were attractive has been fired for sexual harassment. There, are you happy now? Happy tearing this company apart? Okay, but the rest of you: please come to work here. I swear I’m not around that much. Thanks. --- ## Tags [jobs](https://www.doublefine.com/search/tag/jobs) --- ## Related news [Jobs Ahoy! February 2nd 2023 ](https://www.doublefine.com/news/jobs-ahoy) [I’M NOT GIVING UP ON THE ORANGE, THOUGH April 26th 2007 ](https://www.doublefine.com/news/im-not-giving-up-on-the-orange-though) [WHAT KIND OF PROGRAMMER WORKS AT DOUBLE FINE? March 29th 2007 ](https://www.doublefine.com/news/what-kind-of-programmer-works-at-double-fine) [FANCY+PANTS+ART+JOBS June 29th 2006 ](https://www.doublefine.com/news/fancypantsartjobs) [THERE IS A HAMMER IN MY HAND. YOU JUST CAN’T SEE IT BECAUSE IT’S SO BIG AND HEAVY May 23rd 2006 ](https://www.doublefine.com/news/there-is-a-hammer-in-my-hand-you-just-cant-see-it-because-its-so-big-and-he) [TURN YOUR COMPUTER INTO A MONEY PRINTING MACHINE! February 15th 2006 ](https://www.doublefine.com/news/turn-your-computer-into-a-money-printing-machine) [HOLY MOLEY, MORE JOBS! June 10th 2005 ](https://www.doublefine.com/news/holy-moley-more-jobs) [GET A JOB! September 24th 2004 ](https://www.doublefine.com/news/get-a-job) [OLD AND IN THE WAY: TERRY AND JOE MAKE ROOM FOR FRESH BLOOD July 15th 2004 ](https://www.doublefine.com/news/old-and-in-the-way-terry-and-joe-make-room-for-fresh-blood) [THE BEAST THAT EATS TESTERS IS HUNGRY AGAIN! June 15th 2004 ](https://www.doublefine.com/news/the-beast-that-eats-testers-is-hungry-again)