Alright, alright. I was lying about Erik. Maybe he does work here, but trust me—only slightly. And not very hard, or well. But he is adorable and really, really hilarious to have around the office. Mostly because every time you turn around, he’s gotten himself into another crazy jam! Just yesterday he got his head caught in the scanner! Ha ha. We all laughed and laughed, until the poor little guy started crying—and then we really busted up! Before long he totally started spazzing out and flailing his arms around and making this hysterical, wheezing sort of sound, which you would think would be funny, but it was in fact very scary and funny!
I was going to make fun of him more but I feel bad and also I’m all sleepy. Not because it’s late, but because I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I think I have a wheat allergy, or a jam intolerance. Or possibly an allergy to eating microwaved egg-rolls in the dark, which I also did, but a little later.
I realize as I type this, that that last part might come off as kind of sad, but trust me—there are things in Costco egg rolls that you don’t want to see. You just gotta turn out the lights, take off your shirt, and go to town.
Oh, and I have another plug: Kelli really wants everyone to start washing their own dishes around here. She ain’t your mamma, and she’s sick of you leaving your dirty coffee cups in the conference room. And, while she’s at it, she also wants everyone to know that Scott totally STOLE the unicorn in DFAC #10 from HER.
actually—> <—by Kelli
So now you know.
Not sure why she’s bragging about that. I mean, really,*I* could have drawn that. Here, watch:
Oh, wait. No. That’s a picture of Kelli. Hang on. Let me really try to draw a unicorn this time…
Ah, whoops! I have accidentally created beauty… again!