Brütal on the Cover of the Internet

All week long (starting YESTERDAY) 1UP.com is running a cover story on the Legendary Game of Brütality. Monday was a 5,000-page expose on my scandalous life which climaxes with my demand for, “mouths on pavements.” (What I actually said was “Milestone payments,” but I mumble a lot and it’s not their fault and I hope they don’t change it because I think “mouths on pavements” is much funnier than milestone payments.)

Anyway, who knows what today shall bring? Nobody knows! It’s a secret kept in the deepest—
Oh, wait. It says on their front page. Don’t look! Spoilers!