Saturday, October 12, 2002

You have been drafted into the Double Fine Spam Machine!

I have a message here that you have to help me spread all over the globe as quickly as possible. Please mail it to EVERY SINGLE PROGRAMMER THAT YOU HAVE EVER MET IN YOUR LIFE, and then tell them to do the same. In fact, send it to the non-programmers too. Double Fine needs programmers! We need their delicious brain meats! Oops! I mean, their mad skillz.

Copy the message below, paste it into an email, and send it off right now!

Hurry! I’ll look out for cops.

——-Cut and Mail this Part. Not this line, the part below this line.——-

This part: Oh, wait. Not this line either. Start with the next line. Okay…go!

From: Your Only Friend in the World
Sent: Saturday, October 12, 2002 8:00 PM
To: Everybody I’ve ever met
Cc: People I’ve yet to meet
Subject: Gameplay Programmer + Double Fine = YOU!

Dear Programming Friend (or friend who isn’t a programmer but who might know someone who knows a programmer):

Have I told you lately that I love you? Well, I do.

So much so, that I want you to take care of yourself, and quit your stupid job.

So dumb it is! And so unlike you! You are smart. And likeable!

Maybe you thought you had a good job. Heck, we all said we were happy for you when you got it, but that’s because we were just relieved that you got something. Now we can tell you the truth: You could do better. You are pleasant-smelling and generous. Your life has been hard, and most of it is over—But only the bad part. The good part is ahead of you, as a Gameplay Programmer at Double Fine Productions.

You heard me. Gameplay Programmer. The person who they hire will program gameplay. Yes, it is the most fun job in the world. You could be the programmer who makes the monkeys dance and the ghouls eat brains! Deep down you’ve always known you had this power, and now it’s time to get paid for it.

Check out the Double Fine job page. Then slap together a cover letter and send it with your resume to! Tell them you want to make games. If you do that, then I can promise you one simple thing: Everything will be better from now on. The sun will shine brighter, the air will smell better, and noisy irritating things will nudge ever so slightly away from you. Things will stop sticking to things they are not supposed to stick to, and other things will become less expensive. I, your caring friend, will pay you the money I owe you, and you get to punch me as hard as you want in one arm, but I get to pick the arm and you only get to punch me once.

Oh, and one more thing: You have to send this email on to everybody you have ever met in your life, or else you’ll get this nasty skin infection. Sorry, I guess I should have told you that before you opened it. My bad.

Please get yourself hired at Double Fine right now. Because then, later, you can get me a job there. And then, really, you could quit. I couldn’t care less.

You Know Who