HERE’S WHAT THE CORPORATE MEDIA WON’T TELL YOU

Sometimes when I yawn, the pressure increases in my head so much that I’m afraid my eyeballs are going to pop out. I squeeze my eyelids shut tight, but I can still feel my eyeballs in there, trying to get out. It’s like my eyes are like two pregnant snails, squeezing to give birth.

This happened once to Raul Julia. He said so on Letterman. They just popped out, and he had to push them back in again—his eyes.

Raul’s last movie was Street Fighter. Before it was a movie it was a popular game. Did you know that? It was so popular that they made it into a movie. And the movie was so unpopular, that they made it back into a game again. Making a video game based on a movie based on a video game seemed amazingly weird to me at the time, I remember. Like amazingly, incredibly weird. I thought the world was ending. But everyone around me stayed so calm, I just kept quiet about it.

Until now.

If you enjoyed this story, here are some suggested materials for further reading:Greenway, Theresa (1999). Slugs and Snails as Pets; Raintree Publishers.Brown, David S. (1994) Freshwater Snails of Africa and Their Medical Importance; Taylor & Francis, inc. Cruz, Barbara (1998) Raul Julia: Actor and Humanitarian; Enslow Publishers, IncorporatedStreet Fighter(R) Anniversary Collection Official Strategy Guide; BradyGames (2004)