I hope there’s a reward!

Anybody out there missing a weevil? One that looks something like this cute little guy?

I have good news and bad news for you.

The good news is I found your weevil!
No more wondering where he got off to this time! That curious little ragamuffin. Always running off and getting himself into a jimmy jam! That darn weevil.

The bad news is I boiled him alive. At least I think he was alive at the time. He might have slowly suffocated weeks ago in the package. Either way, he’s definitely boiled now, and in a plastic baggie. I didn’t do it on purpose. I was just trying to prepare some delicious (looking) Kashi Instant Oatmeal this morning.

And when I poured in the boiling water, your little buddy floated to the top.
I thought at first, “My my. Is that… a rat turd?”
Can you imagine? That would have been gross.
I was so relieved to see that the little turd-like thing had tiny little, lifeless legs sticking out of it. And a mischievous look on its scalded face.
“More for your Heart,” indeed!
Oh, why didn’t I look more closely at that label?