Okay, young Mads and Nikolaj here have sent in a picture of the Excellent Game Psychonauts marching through another European country. But they won't tell us which one! Which country is it! How am I going to put another pin in the big board if you don't tell me what country you're in?
Hey, wait a second. I saw CSI once, when I was too lazy to change the channel after Survivor. I might have the skills necessary to crack this case.
Let's go over the clues!
|I see a copy of Full Throttle! That may be a clue. Now then, that game was a big hit in... well... every country in the world and some parts of the international space station. So, that doesn't help. Curse the international appeal of biker adventure games!!!|
|There are three "Hitman" games, from the Danish game developer IO Interactive. Okay, now we're getting somewhere! "Io" is the name of the innermost of the four moons of Jupiter which were discovered by Galileo. Galileo was ITALIAN. Mama mia! A clue!|
|A book of Danish fairytales. Huh. Well, that's not fitting in at all. What am I supposed to do with this? You know, sometimes, clues just don't fit in. When that happens it's best to put them aside until later, when they either do fit in or everybody's forgotten about them.|
|Hey, what's that in the bookshelf? Why its a copy of, "Gyldendals Store Kogebog," which, unless you've been living under a rock for the last fifty years, you recognize as a popular Danish cookbook.|
Seeing this clue, the profiler in me asks the question, "Who would keep a big Danish cookbook in their bookshelf?" The gruff chief investigator in me says, "Someone who wanted us to find it." The wacky-but-intelligent lab guy in me lifts up his goggles, turns off the punk-rock-blasting boombox, and postulates, "Someone who loves Danish food." The lazy intern in me Googles the phrase, "I love Danish food" and BINGO, we find something. Check it out.
So my first question: "Is it ethical for the Rotary club to lure teenage boys into their international exchange program by subtly promising them that they will have two girlfriends once they reach their host country?" And my second question is, "Hey, isn't that one on the right Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer?" So I read more. "Blah blah blah Danish blah blah Denmark blah Danes blah blah Danishness blah blah blah meat blah blah sauce blah blah When in Rome, do as the... Romans?"
Hold it a second! Did I just type "Rome?" Another clue!
"Rome" is a homonym for "Roam," which is a song by the B-52s!
The B-52s are from Georgia!
Which is full of-- that's right-- Italians.
But the last thing we want to do is jump to conclusions while our investigation is still al dente. So let's keep looking.
|Wait, wait, wait! I just noticed the author's name here. It's Hans Christian Anderson! Hans Christian Anderson's most famous tale is "The Little Mermaid," which was later turned into a film that was set... under the sea... Gah! But which sea? Hans, what are you trying to tell me with your watery riddle??? Ah, forget it.|
|I see a copy of Thomas Vinterberg 1998 film "Festen" (aka "The Celebration") which as we all know was the first Dogma 95 film, and is also referred to as "Dogme #1." Or, as we would say in American, "#1 Dog!" Which led me to this picture:|
On the Cocker Spaniel website "cockers.com." The description of the picture said it's an Italian dog show. Don't believe me? Try Googling "Cockers" and I'll bet you'll be quite surprised at what you find.
|Hold it a second. A tale set in a kingdom underwater... Could Mads and Nikolaj be trying to tell me that they are from... Atlantis?|
Wait, that's stupid. Never mind. Sorry.
|A copy of Danish filmmaker Lars Von Trier's "Europe Trilogy." Could that title be a clue? "Europe Trilogy?" Hmm... Europe... Europe... Why does that sound so familiar? Hey, wait. Isn't most of Italy located somewhere in Europe!|
We'll I think that's it. We have all the clues we need, so--
|Wait a second! Atlantis! That's not stupid! That's the key to this whole case!|
After all, "The Man From Atlantis" starred Patrick Duffy. Patrick Duffy was also on a little show called "Dallas!" You know who was also on "Dallas?" Larry Hagman!!! Don't you see where this is going? Larry Hagman played Capt./Maj. Anthony 'Tony' Nelson on "I Dream of Jeannie." Remember the character Sven from the episode "Jeannie Breaks the Bank?" Well he was played by the famous actor Torben Meyer. It was his last job before he died. And you know where he died? Me either! Who cares? But he was born in...
Holy phony cannoli! These guys aren't Italian at all! They're from Denmark!
Man, I love being an investigator! Dusting for clues and nailing perps and stuff!
Anyway, hello to all of our new friends in Denmark! Good luck with that whole political cartoon mess, and good luck with Psychonauts. I support you in both of those efforts. Molto bene!