PROMISE TO AMERICA KEPT (BY NOBLE AMERICAN PROMISER.)

As promised, the screenshots have been ensmallened today. I’m sorry, but we needed those extra pixels for the game. Let’s just call yesterday, “A tribute to DSL!”

Today, we are back to loving our dial-up friends! Hi you guys! Let’s shake hands! Click! Oooooh… screeeeeeeebrbl, brbl, brbl, brbleeeeeeekdlkjdfkjaskdjfskdfsdf!

Haha! Modem humor! Free modem humor for you on the internet! By me!

Mailbag time!

——-Original Message——- From: clamchowderfetish @ zombo.com Sent: Tuesday, February 02, 2004 9:34 PM To: Info Subject: Hey loser! HAHA! You’re so dumb. First of all, you misspelled “acoustic.” And secondly, Groundhogs aren’t actually hogs. And thirdly, your dumb! HAHAHA! Why don’t you shrink your face, instead of those screenshots? Because then your face would be less ugly, because it would be smaller and you’re stupid! -xClambakex P.S. If you have any advice about how to break into the games industry, please let me know! It’s my lifelong dream! ^_^ P.P.S Thanks for making Sam ‘n’ Max! It’s my favorite game!

Sigh. Why do I ever open this thing? Okay, riddle me this, Professor: Why are they called GROUND hogs? Huh? Aren’t most types of hogs ground-based? Don’t most hogs spend at least 75% of the time on—or very near—the ground? I mean, what else could there be? Airhogs??? (Man, I hope not. That would suuu-uck. “Oh, man. I just washed my car and then a whole flock of airhogs flew overhead.” “The plane went down after ingesting a large airhog into the engine.” “Honey, you left the window open and an airhog flew in and ate the baby.”) Anyway, to answer your question, to get into the games industry, break into the Sony party at E3, walk around saying “Online multiplayer is the future,” and if nobody has hired you by 11:00 pm, sleep with the first person you hear speaking either Japanese or French. Worked for me!