HINT: THERE IS “CEMENT” IN “ANNOUNCEMENT”

Okay, I’m lying. That cement thing is not really a hint. But it kinda makes you go, “Huh,” doesn’t it? You know? Especially since “cement” is a NOUN? You follow? “A Noun, Cement?” That’s got to mean something!

Anyway, The Announcement is only one day away! Some people have guessed that The Announcement is going to be… THE GAME. And it’s true—The release date for the Endodontic Surgery Psychonauts is indeed April 19, which is—according to ancient astronomers—TOMORROW. But, uh… that was already announced, like, a million thousand years ago. How would “announcing” that again make anyone crap their pants? Unless they were a baby, I guess. But even then, you’d have to time it just right, and maybe squeeze it.

No, The Announcement is not the game. In fact, if you went down to your local Video Computer Gaming Store tomorrow and stood in the door and yelled, “I decoded The Announcement! I’m here for the Ecclesiastical Sacrament Psychonauts!” you might be sad for many reasons, mostly because the 19th is the SHIP DATE. Which I think means that is the day they ship it to the stores. I’m not 100% sure about the situation at the store nearest you, but we called some stores and they say that The Game will be on the shelves on the 20th. But don’t take my word for it. Call your local store to confirm. Call them right now! Call them many times! Ask them if they have Psychonauts yet! Over and over and over until they say yes.

But do it by phone so you can be home to receive a noun we call cement. I mean, do you really want to be the last to know? The last to know that your life has changed forever?