Just Like they had in Ancient Greece or Rome or Whatever

Let’s continue our slow-but-fulfilling tour of the new Double Fine Action Web Destination. We’ve already discussed our space-age syndication options, and the other day we burst forth with our earth-shattering Minigames section. But did you notice that we also installed a giant magnet that attracts intelligent conversation? I’m speaking, of course, of our brand new Double Fine Action Forums.

Remember Socrates, the ancient philosopher? Yes, I miss him too. But lately, not quite as much. The lively debate on the DFAF has filled that ancient void in my life. Reading our forums is like watching a 900 foot Socrates, stuffed with 10,000 Bill Moyerses, coated in the blood of a million Charlie Roses, as a guest on a 2-hour special edition of the NewsHour with Jim Lehrer. So many ideas! So much insight! So much blood!

Speaking of intelligent debates, here’s one:

“I don’t like forums because people say dumb stuff,” you say in that whiny voice you use sometimes.
“Well then, sign up for the forums and post some smart stuff!” I say.

“I don’t have the time to sign up for a membership!”
“It takes almost no time at all! You just have to think of a username and a password. Here, I’ll think of some usernames for you: Lovely Bottom, Nostril Hair, Farm Fresh, Lugubrious, Leg Meat, Hermit Crab, Hot Yams!, Tooth Rash, Gallium Arsenide, The Fremont Flash, Nude Hose, More Grease?”

“If I post on the forums, people will say mean things about me!”
“People are already saying mean things about you on the forums. Wouldn’t you rather know what they are saying?”

“Why all the pressure to join the forums?”
“You have exceeded your question limit! I win!!!”

“I don’t care. I’m never going to join the forums.”
“That’s okay. I’ll stop pressuring you. Here, why don’t you take your mind off the forums and look at this amazing other thing I found?”

(Thank you, Harvard Debate Night School!)