Warning: If you have any of the naked ladies from the Double Fine XBOX Naked Lady Giveaway, you may be in grave danger and—who are we fooling?—You are probably already dead. If it’s not too late, then you must immediately fold the ladies in half, put a book on top of them, and lay down on the floor and scream until help arrives.
We have received this shocking news from the other side of the world, from a tiny country known as “Norway.” If you can read Norwegian like I pretend to, you will see that there is total flammehav going down at a store called “Akers Mic.” Why is that significant? Because, a while back, I sent a drawing of two naked ladies to THAT VERY STORE.
It all started a few months ago when we were contacted by a young Norwegian man who worked at Akers Mic in Norway. He had recently purchased an XBOX, and he wanted his due porn. He enclosed his receipt, and so we I sent him the ladies, not knowing that they were cold-blooded arsonists.
Well, okay. So, truth be told, I DID know they were cold-blooded arsonists. That’s why I sent them so far away. But they claimed to be reformed. They had served their time. Plus, I figured, “Hey, they’re naked. Where they gonna hide the matches?”
So, please, Mr. Akers Mic, please contact us right away and tell us that you’re all right. And if my ladies burned down your store, I am so sorry. My total, total bad.
And if you’re not Mr. Akers Mic, but some other Norwegians, please walk down to Akers Mic and see if he’s okay, would you?