Winners write the history books, Germans make the posters

Okay, this is cool but it could have been really cool.

If I am reading this internet thing correctly, there is a person in Germany named, “Laserschwert.” (Apparently that is how you say “Lightsaber” in German, which makes me feel so dumb for calling mine a"Lichtwurst” all these years.) And he/she has scanned in his/her old LucasArts games and turned they/them into posters for you/me to print out and pin to the ceiling over our/their bed/s. (I’m going to start a new paragraph so I can stop splitting these/my pronouns.)

Finally, we can have that Monkey 2 poster that Lucas never made!!! Download them quick before some lawyer calls Laserschwert and threatens to open a can of “Schlagenhinter” on him/her. (Damn there I/you go again! New paragraph!)

Awesome, right? Except my dear friend Laserschwert went the extra mile and took the time to painstakingly paint out the designers’ names which appeared on the original boxes. Why? I don’t know! He hates us! Do you know how hard we had to fight to get our names on those boxes? Well, not Ron so much because everybody was afraid of Ron. He just put his name on the box and it was like when people in a crowded subway watch in silence as some scary kid tags the wall. Nobody says anything because they don’t want a marker shoved down their throat. But Dave and I had handcuff ourselves to Kelly Flock for a week before he finally gave in and put our names on the DOTT box.

Wait a second… is Laserschwert actually German for… Kelly Flock? Just when I thought he/she couldn’t hurt us/you any more! Ah, Scheiße!!