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I know if people come here looking for exciting and long-awaited Brütal Legend news, and find instead a picture of a dead weevil they might be understandably disappointed. And yet my unquenchable lust to inform can not be quenched by the small setback of having no knowledge or information. So I must keep posting news, even if that news is the complete lack of news, and contains only weevils, or deformed bowling pins that look like our company logo.
So I am instituting a “News Threat Level” to give you readers some warning as to what to expect. The News Threat Level is an easy to understand, color-coded, early warning system that will let you know how close we are to hearing actual Brütal news. Here are the settings, as introduced by a deformed bowling pin that looks like our company logo:
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Toasted Salmon
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I have no idea what is going on, or when I will be able to talk about it.
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Charred Topaz
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News coming probably before your next doctor’s appointment.
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Metallic Chartreuse
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News coming probably before your next haircut.
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Haunted Sandalwood
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Omg I think there may be some news this month.
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International Ochre
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WTF? News this week? Yes!
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Violated Lemon
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I hear news knocking at the door!
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Subpoena Blue
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Keep hitting the refresh button because I feel big news coming on like a sneeze.
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Skinned Teal
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False alarm. No news.
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Irreverent Periwinkle
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News is here! Run for your lives!!!
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In the days, weeks, and probably years to come, watch the news banner above for any changes, and set your “expectations gland” accordingly.
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11/26/2008 at 07:48 PM
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| Posted by lejwocky on 11/26 at 09:08 PM skinned teal sounds painful for some reason
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| Posted by Icebox on 11/26 at 09:08 PM Tim, as a longtime fan and follower, I am deeply concerned. Double Fine seems to be crumbling, Brutal Legend is churned for god knows how long, Lucasarts destroyed any remnant we may have of Grim Fandango.
I Have but one request. If Double Fine as we know it ceases to exist, and dies before its time, would you please, please come back to the adventure game business? We need you.
-Icebox
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| Posted by PlayingKarrde on 11/26 at 09:34 PM So we’re at Skinned Teal right now I assume?
And Icebox, why so serious?
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| Posted by Paroxysm on 11/26 at 09:41 PM Toasted Salmon would be disappointing if it weren’t also pretty and tasty. God bless you all.
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| Posted by Apple Pop on 11/26 at 10:23 PM Violated lemon?! OH NO! D:
The bowling pin is a mixture between “give-me-nightmares-by-looking-at-it-horrifiying” and “enchant-me-in-awe-of-incredible-awesomeness”.
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| Posted by Tim Schafer on 11/26 at 11:17 PM Yeah, cheer up, Icebox!
Did you not see the smiling bowling pin?
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| Posted by StolenName on 11/26 at 11:34 PM But, but, but ... What if you only read news via RSS? WHERE’S OUR WARNING LEVEL NOW?! YOU DECEITFUL, RSSist BASTARD.
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| Posted by masquerade on 11/27 at 05:48 AM Thank you for the update, Tim. I do not doubt that the new colour coding system shall appease the more inquisitive of us.
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| Posted by metalarms on 11/27 at 10:40 AM Best two-headed bowling pin ever!
Thanks for the update Tim.
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| Posted by Jorw on 11/27 at 12:29 PM “In the years to come?” YEARS?! I CAN’T WAIT FOR YEARS!
But what do you mean by “the small setback of having no knowledge or information?” I mean, you’re the lead designer… Surely you have SOMETHING to tell us about Brutal Legend.
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| Posted by The Monarch on 11/27 at 07:01 PM Damn it time give us some Subpoena Blue
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| Posted by Mr Bun on 11/27 at 09:12 PM Now is this Brütal News threat level only? Because I still hold the news of exploding Volkswagens and rat fights in high newsworthy standing!
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| Posted by Flamingcoconut on 11/27 at 09:28 PM Wow, Icebox up there is ever the optimist.
I hope my room mate doesn’t mind if i now use my toaster in one of my “Food in the incorrect appliance” experiments/appliance breaking.
I could go for some toasted salmon right about now and wash it down with a Quizno’s Sub smoothy.
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| Posted by Razputin on 11/28 at 01:12 AM LOL!!! xD .
It’s great, now I know when I can pause on checking for Double Fine news, many times a day :D!
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| Posted by minime283 on 11/28 at 07:23 PM I wonder if (politics aside) the game is close to done?
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| Posted by aA on 11/29 at 04:20 PM Disappointed there wasn’t any Expired Gamboge or Uneasy Zinnwaldite. But in this ever changing world, I believe these colour alerts will help put all our fears to rest.
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| Posted by Crazy Sunshine on 11/29 at 07:31 PM is it just me, or do all of these colors sound delicious
...mmmm Irreverent Periwinkle
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| Posted by Mystical Chocobo on 11/30 at 01:56 PM A very descriptive system I see. But what level are we at now?
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| Posted by nieker on 11/30 at 02:09 PM We are now in a state of ‘toasted salmon’. Check the banner on top of this page. The one with the two awesome-soon-to-be-sold-in-the-webstore bowling pins.
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| Posted by nhaingen on 11/30 at 04:25 PM The side head would help drag down extra bowling pins. Think of the strategic advantages! Now THAT’S the inventive invention sure to make Double Fine a household name, like Fred.
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| Posted by Bob Loblaw on 11/30 at 08:30 PM Metallic Chartreuse, the cruelest color of them all. Two years since my last hair cut and I plan on going for a few more. I suppose if that color ever shows up, I’ll just have to take one for the team to hasten the future.
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| Posted by Joe Slap on 12/01 at 10:30 AM I hate the Toasted Salmon level. =|
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| Posted by AdamJWho on 12/01 at 04:15 PM This is glorious. Thank you for this. I look forward to hearing more about this awesome game you are making. The trailer alone has me sold on the game but more info would make me very happy.
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| Posted by Hot Yams! on 12/02 at 07:16 PM Oh yes, haunted sandalwood
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