Skip to: main content or site footer.

Introducing the NEWS THREAT LEVEL

Tim Schafer Tim

I know if people come here looking for exciting and long-awaited Brütal Legend news, and find instead a picture of a dead weevil they might be understandably disappointed. And yet my unquenchable lust to inform can not be quenched by the small setback of having no knowledge or information. So I must keep posting news, even if that news is the complete lack of news, and contains only weevils, or deformed bowling pins that look like our company logo.
So I am instituting a “News Threat Level” to give you readers some warning as to what to expect. The News Threat Level is an easy to understand, color-coded, early warning system that will let you know how close we are to hearing actual Brütal news. Here are the settings, as introduced by a deformed bowling pin that looks like our company logo:

Toasted Salmon I have no idea what is going on, or when I will be able to talk about it.
Charred Topaz News coming probably before your next doctor’s appointment.
Metallic Chartreuse News coming probably before your next haircut.
Haunted Sandalwood Omg I think there may be some news this month.
International Ochre WTF? News this week? Yes!
Violated Lemon I hear news knocking at the door!
Subpoena Blue Keep hitting the refresh button because I feel big news coming on like a sneeze.
Skinned Teal False alarm. No news.
Irreverent Periwinkle News is here! Run for your lives!!!

In the days, weeks, and probably years to come, watch the news banner above for any changes, and set your “expectations gland” accordingly.

Associated games

Skip up to: site menu or main content