Look what you’ve done to journalism, social media fad!
Whenever I think of a totally pointless fact or joke, I put it up on Twitter. (Omg, follow me! TimOfLegend!) And all my cute pictures of Lili go up on my Facebook page. And that leaves this page for pure, hard news. But I’m usually so slow and lazy about updating, that most news about us is broken on Brütal! The Legendary Fan Site, which is awesome. So, why put any news here? No reason. I shouldn’t even do it. I won’t. I won’t even mention the fact that we’re up for a bunch of awards.
Or, I will only briefly mention them, as if I were being forced at gunpoint to bring up next week’s Academy of Interactive Arts & Sciences Awards, where Brütal Legend has been nominated for Outstanding Character Performance (Eddie Riggs), Outstanding Achievement in Original Story, Outstanding Achievement in Soundtrack, and Strategy/Simulation Game of the Year!
And if the gunman urges me to continue by smacking me on the side of the head with his pistol, I might only then mention that we are nominated for two Game Developers Choice Awards this year, including Best Writing and Best Audio.
But then he might say through his ski mask, “What else?” And I would say, “That’s it!” And he might say, “But you said ‘Including,’ as if those two nominations were part of a longer list.” And I’d say, “No, that’s the whole list.” And he’d say, “Would you say, ‘The American flag has three colors on it, including red, white, and blue?’ No, you wouldn’t!” And I’d say, “I know, but it sounded good. And really I think there should have been more.” And he might then say, “Well, I would have put you up there for innovation.” And I’d say, “Thanks.” And then he might say, “Hell, you know what? Game of the Year, dude! Brütal rocked.” And then we might both nod for a second, and one of us might shrug in a way that kind of says, “Eh, whaddya gonna do?” And then I’d hire him to be my PR manager because of his taste, forceful nature, and gun.