Sweet, merciful heavens, what were they thinking? Microsoft has APPROVED the EXCELLENT GAME PSYCHONAUTS for the XBOX!
That’s right! We have passed certification! I would like to say something brilliant right now but I’m speechless. Oh, and did I mention that the PC version went gold on Wednesday? Soon the PS2 version will be done and no one will be safe! Oh, and also, Official Xbox Magazine gave us a 9.5 in their review this month!
Is this actually happening? Can it be real? Did I choke on a potsticker during one of our crunch mode meals and I’m in a coma in a hospital bed and I’m dreaming all this right now? Or has there been some rift in the space/time continuum that has suspended logic and probability, and allowed our long-suffering game to finally end happily? I don’t get how this could be happening. Did the universe just give up on it’s efforts to ruin our lives? Did the gods just find some other game to pick on? I mean, who slipped up and let us get through? I’m sure one of Satan’s lackey’s is going to get fired over this.
My personal apologies go out to all those aligned with the forces of mediocrity and small-mindedness who tried to shut us down over and over again for the last five years. I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you this time. I will say that although I am not bitter, I remember all of your names. Also, I’m going to send consolation cards to your mothers and fathers, because they must be disappointed most of all by your failure.
Cheers to our hard-working team!
Thank you to our friends and allies!
And hooray for Razputin, who gets to go out now into the world.
You brave little disco angel.