|
O
M
F
G
|
 |
O
M
F
G
|
Omfg
is right, kids. The Excellent game Psychonauts running on the XBOX
360 would be just about the coolest thing in the world, wouldn't it?
Unfortunately,
I don't know if it's ever going to happen. Whoa, did I just
manipulate your emotions?
You
know, I have an XBOX 360, and I love it. I love it so much. I wish I
could spend every living moment of my
life playing it. My wife and I have discussed it, and we've
agreed to name our first child, "Geometry Wars." The only
thing that could make my XBOX 360 any better is if it would just
play this game we made called PSYCHONAUTS.
To
this end, I called up the good people at Microsoft and said,
"Hello friends. How is the emulator coming along? Will it ever
run the Excellent game Psychonauts?"
"Believe
us, we have top men working on it now," they said.
"You
know, if it would help, we'd be willing to fly all our engineers up
to Seattle, and they'd do all the programming! Or, they could just
tell you exactly how our engine works, and we could probably get it
running on the 360 in just a few hours!"
"TOP...
MEN." Is all they said.
So
I eagerly awaited this
week's announcement of the next 21 games to work under the
emulator, but when I saw it I was sad, even though I love Big Mutha
Truckers.
So
right now I want you to do two things. First, do a Google
image search on the phrase, "Best XBOX game ever." What is the first screenshot you see? (Okay, for me,
it's Psychonauts. If you get different results, then your Google
must be broken.) Clearly this is irrefutable, mathematical evidence
that the very next game the Microsoft emulator team should be
working on is Psychonauts!
Okay,
here's the second thing: I want you to get up. I want you to walk
over to your window right now. I want you to open your window up,
and then I want you to stick your head out, and then I want you to
take in a nice breath of fresh air, and then I want you to close
that window and walk back to your computer and click on this
link and send Microsoft a heartfelt message. Something to
the effect of, "I am a 9-year-old boy in the hospital, dying of
consumption, and my last wish is to play Psychonauts on my XBOX
360!" (Please, try to make up your own disease.)
And
yes, that's a real email address! I got it off the Microsoft
XBOX 360 Backwards Compatibility FAQ page! And you'll notice
they say, "We read every e-mail sent to this address." So,
watch your language!
While
you wait for a response from them, you should do nothing but stare at
the picture above and concentrate as hard as you can
until you make make that picture come true with the power of your will! If this actually
gives you consumption, then I am truly sorry. But please let me
know, because we can use that to our advantage.
I
said stare at the ABOVE picture. The one with the happy kids. For
god's sake don't stare at this one! It's bad luck!
|